We live in an imperfect world ...and sometimes things are not so satisfying, and even can become unacceptable.

But, under regular circumstances, the way it should be, and often is ...is that a parent loves their children, not only as they are young, but also when they are older and perhaps more independent.

When the children get older, and choose to marry ...if those children lovingly discuss it with their parents, they will usually have that independent freedom to live that married life without unhealthy interference.  And it may also take a while for the parent to switch roles from being so involved ...to being less involved, but they have been through a lot of experiences in their lives too, and likely can handle it.

This is especially true if they are switching their dominant role from parent to grandparent.

Often the in-laws have a tendency to be less involved with your affairs, if they see their child is happy.  Usually if your spouse is happy, they are happy.  And they are happy to ignore you while you share your own happiness with each other ...as long as they get to once again experience the joy of their grandkids, who usually remind them of you when you were that age.

If they see their child is unhappily married, there often emerges a sort of check & balance system ...and you could call that accountability.  If you refuse to grow and be mature enough to see how easy this can be to keep everyone happy ...well, it does often not get accomplished, so that evidences the lack of success in that area.

I see a rather direct correlation between disliking the in-laws, and maintaining your marriage.  It does not at all mean that to have a successful marriage you have to dislike your in-laws. It usually means that you dislike being reminded of the accountability clearly stated in your wedding vows ...but those in-laws do exist, and perhaps they are the reason things are being dealt with.

It seems like in-laws have exerted less influence in recent years ...and the divorce rate has increased, as there is no firm stance against splitting up.

Another observation is that when in-laws seem to be disliked, your own children don't share this feeling, at least early on. Unless you have worked very hard to change the children's attitude ...they seem to really like Grandpa & Grandma.

And when you see this ...there is a strong tendency to not be so offended by the in-law's usually brief comments, and to focus on the much more abundance of love you see between your children, and you & your spouse's parents.